Why cant I be loved as what I am?

A wolf amongst wolves and not as a man amongst men.

It was a wonderful weekend, filled with beer and song, dashed with a brotherly camaraderie, and overhauled by the bloodshed of animals.

I have slain the super-coyote. If you have a coyote to kill I shall rightly slay it too.

For a full recap of Jacob's deer, click on the link to Jake Freedom in the links pane.

nintendo superfan

this dude is amazing. i dont know what else to say. but HEEELLLL NAAAAHHH.

Julian Beever ( The Amazing Art of Julian Beever )

I cannot believe it.

Which picture does not belong??

Lemon Jelly -(Promo Video)

I have never heard this song. But it makes me smile. I never cease to enjoy this kinda stuff.

Pilotdrift- Bubblecraft

I love these guys and not just because I am friends with them. If I never knew them I would just wish that I did because they are amazing!

harrowdown hill

brilliant. thanks jacob for the tip.

Sufjan Stevens - Chicago

for a cloudy day when you feel like contemplating God.

Beck- Clap Hands on Saturday Night Live

i think this is one of the better musical performances to grace the stages of SNL. The only one better than this that i can think of is Ashlee Simpson.

Borat wrestles Harry Smith

adem - ringing in my ear

i hope the warm sounds will give all a feeling of solace in the cold months to come.

Sigur Ros: svefn-g-englar

this is beautiful. This video makes me close to crying everytime I watch it. People are beautiful.

RADIOHEAD- Everything in its right place

I wish I was cool but I am really just a man with a face.

Gary Jules - Mad World (Donnie Darko version)

a great movie for this time of year. if you havent seen it i recommend that you do by tomorrow.

breakdance

O Lordy this dude is one serious B-BOYYYYY!!!!!

Jose Gonzalez - Heartbeats

BOUNCY BALLS!!!!!!

Jose Gonzalez - Crosses

I have decided that I am going to put some nice songs on here for everyone to enjoy as the cold weather begins to blow in. Please feel free to take 3 minutes and 11 seconds of your day and listen to this song. I promise it will make you a better person.

Cursed Sleep

Bonnie 'Prince' Billy - Cursed Sleep

Yet another wonderful video from Bonnie. This song is from his latest greatest. Enjoy.

I Gave You- BPB

This song is beautiful. I dont know of any other artist that makes me feel so passionate about anything he says. Bonnie Prince Billy has a way with words that I havent experienced since Bob D. He also has a powerful mustache.

Hog Hunt

MARRIGE IS WHAT BRINGS US TOGETHER

many men will try to hold me down

but none shall prevail. it has been along time since i have blogged. i am officially 15 days away from marriage and VERY EXCITED. the all caps should key you off on that anyways. Lately I have just been working, schooling, and fighting to breath and remain sane. I have had some wonderful times that include the picture above. it was taken on the 2nd day of a 3 day long extravaganza. i love you.

i have to say that i am out of touch with my blogging side. it all seems so unnatural right now. its definately not like riding a bike.

here is a story.

once upon a time there was a guy named jacob who gave a guy named matt shit about not blogging, so matt finally blogged and it was total crap. goodbye

sitting in class sucks my...

THUMB.

I cant wait to be out of school. I am sitting in a summer class called business communication. It is most definately not fun and/or enjoyable. Long days are coming more frequently now. Basically every weekday is prone. I am going to write a story now:

Once upon a time in the land of Grum there lived a boy named Snee. Snee was no ordinary boy, o not at all, he was very special. He wasnt like the other boys in Grum, he had some very different things about him. The first thing you need to know about Snee was that everything he touched turned to Chocolate. The second thing you need to know was that he hated the taste of chocolate. At first he liked it but he soon got sick of it since everytime he picked up a sandwich or any other food it was instantly brown like a poop. The End.

Riverfest buttons and crazy legs

The night before last Kinsey and I picked up Andy and Amanda and headed down to riverfest. Lets take a few steps back. Riverfest is an annual celebration in Little Rock... whats it celebrate you ask? It celebrates the people who never appear in public except for the occasional Motley Crue concert. It celebrates the opportunity to some to drink to much and wear the addmission button on your nipple because shirts are for wusses. It celebrates family time, such as going to rock concerts with your parents as a teenager, or for the young ones getting walked around on a leash while big momma eats funnel cake after fried twinkie after footlong corndog and slams beers. This is Riverfest! This is Family Fun!

Above is a couple pictures of possible encounters that you could have at Riverfest.

Anyways back to it- So we headed down to riverfest. It was a fun evening that was accentuated by the kid next to me who rocked out harder than anyone possibly could to LIFEHOUSE. Not only did he know every word, but he mosdef felt the need to scream it in my ear and bump in to me. Partially entertaining, mainly intimidating. The fireworks display was delayed so we headed on our way.

On the way home we had to run past my bros house because I needed to let Tristan aka Crazy Legs Stan out of his kennel. Poor Stan who is a weinereater... i mean weimeraner slipped 3 discs in his back about a month back. He was playing at a crawfish boil down by the river when he started walking funny... kinda sad story but no one realized that he was slowly paralyzing himself. When he didnt get better they took him in and he had to have a major back surgery. He is suppossed to be in his crate for 8 weeks to allow the back to fully heal. He is halfway into the healing process but he is already without pain. So crazy legs is stuck in his kennel all day... when he gets out he tries to run but his muscles have been so weakened in his legs and back he can hardly control them. Its silly to watch but a bit sad at the same time. Pray for Crazy Legs!!

SabataRadical

its been a long time. first i need to apoligize to my blog. "im sorry for ignoring you for so long. its just that i got really busy and couldnt make time for you. then i was afraid that you were mad at me so each day it got increasingly harder to come to you. i didnt know how you would react. im sorry blog. i love you."

now that i have that out of the way we must continue...
I have a new job. Long hours, makes me tired, but i enjoy it.

The wedding is steady approaching and i like the idea of it all.

O ive got a call from a bear im going to take all of his honey. RUN AWAY!

what is the purpose of me sitting here and writing? is it for someone to know me better? is it to line by line voice unspoken thoughts without having to? is it a release of some kind that i dont know? i dont know.

maybe its about hungry hungry hippos. i just cant say right now. i do know that i am feeling a little like a man deprived of a good moment of utter craziness and spontenaity. i desire to do something amazing something different than anyone else. i want to be a nonconformist on my own terms. i want to be so nonconformist that sometimes i will just choose to nonconform to others nonconformity. i dont want to be a goth kid or anything.... i just want to make my own decisions.

a poem i found that i had written while living in guatemala:

pt. 1
Cleveland Park Jamboree
Making corn on the cob
watching the dogs bark.
i crushed it. all of it.
big ones, little ones
they are all gone.
white robes and a set
of golden sunglasses.
cant hold back
it will come just
like a gutterball
when a 6 year old is bowling.
biting my lip i yell back.
fingernails white
from clenched fists.
locust song sings
sweet with the smell
of cavendish smoke
from the old mans pipe.
relaxation covers my
lungs and circulates
through my body releasing
cold silver to run in
my veins, putting chill
bumps on the back of my neck.
the song ice ice baby is in my head.
i hate that song.

pt. 2
crushed underneath
the weight of a feather
our hero gets back up.
moans echo in the
canyons and valleys
and local shopping malls.
a tall order of flapjacks
is brought out at the
diner. paul bunyun.
didnt he have a blue ox?
retreat, run away
someone disturbed an anthill.
thats never good unless
you are into that sort of thing.
im not, but i knew a guy
who used to be.
the hot dogs are almost
done grilling and the
40's are ice cold,
life is good and malt liquor
is even better.
make sure you pour a
little out for the men
you dearly love.
nothing can hold down a
block party except for
a drive by shooting.
pray for the best. with love,
Charles.

Dia de los Madres Ya se fue!

Mothers day is just about gone, and a good one it was. The day started with a great sermon at church by a visiting pastor named eric mason. He graduated from fellowship's program for pastors that plant churches and moved to inner city philly were he is a pastor. If you are interested in watching his sermon or just checking out a few minutes of it click HERE. go to sermons and it should be posted as the eternal makeover or something along those lines. After church Kinsey and I joined my brother over at my parents for lunch to celebrate my awesome mom and all that she means to us. I thought it would be funny to pull a little prank so i decided to write like my brother and give my mom a happy grandmothers day card and on the inside write "Surprise, Love Nate and Jen!" Jen couldnt make it because she has finals for pharmacy school tomorrow. anyways when she opened it she started freaking out which was hilarious until we made her flip the card over and on the back i had written just kidding, love matt. it was funny. i giggled. this evening kinsey and i decided to cook for her mom and and family. it was delish. lots of fun with the fam. later on whitney (kinseys roommate) got home from christophers graduation tonight. (her fiance) we were watching the leprechaun in mobile video and laughing. we noticed that she wasnt laughing and i assumed she just didnt think it was funny. it wasnt until a couple of minutes had passed that we realized she didnt get it when she blurted out "Whats a leprechaun? Isnt it some kind of Cat?" Amen.

PA Alumni Soccer Match is officially in the books

Another year gone by reminding me that my body is steadily getting older. Last night was the Alumni soccer match at my old high school. All it is really is a bunch of old guys that used to be good at soccer trying to come back and play against a bunch of young guys that are in shape and have played together all season. In the past the results weighed heavily for the Alum's but not last night. The Alumni team received its first loss since the creation of the event. It was quite frustrating but also lots of fun. All i can say is that i feel it today. I am hopeful that i will be in shape come this time next year, so that i can exact my revenge on those little punks. I included a picture of them so you can all see who we lost too. my favirote is the 2nd kid from the right on the top row giving himself a squeeze. i think it looks like my brother nate a little bit.

a memory has been made

last night was glorious. jacob and i had yet another excursion that is not soon to be forgotten. about 6:15 yesterday i picked him up at his house to head to memphis to go see bonnie prince billy aka will oldham aka bpb. we were worried about getting to the show late since doors were at 830 and we figured he would be on about 9. the plan was to go and see the show then head back to town. we figured it would be a late night, possibly 1-2 in the morning. little did we know that we would be driving home in a torrential downpour, getting us home at 4:45 in the morning. i have never been the type to be nervous to walk up and talk to anyone ever. but i didnt know if i was ever going to be able to walk over and talk to will as he stood in the corner playing electronic poker in his flip flops and jorts before the show. after i finally did and he shook my hand and gave me a friendly smile i realized that he was down to earth and i relaxed. the opening band was simply horrific. i really didnt care for their music and most of you know that i am very open minded towards different sounds. jacob and i decided to walk around midtown and see what there was to see. we found a pretty cool alley and took some pictures there with the shutter open for a 10 sec exposure. we had a lot of fun doing that and playing cheez-it hopscotch. showtime rolled around and i began to freak out. the show last night was what i have been waiting on patiently for the last 3 and a half years. it blew my expectations away. he sang to the crowd softly and sweetly than commenced to rocking. his voice is gentle yet powerful and authoratative like none i have ever heard. after the show i got a pic taken with him (see above) and then he proceded to stand and voluntarily carry on a 20 minute conversation with jacob and i. highlights of the conversation included jacob asking him if he had the new alicia keys album, and him later telling us he really likes r. kelly and us not being able to tell if he was joking. will told us he would soon be touring under the name bonny billy and captain anomoanon. (rhymes with phenomonon) this group will be him and his brother and they are working on a bunch of songs that are all over 100 years old. im excited to see how it turns out. well i dont know what else to say other than it was simply amazing.

wedding...

it has been quite a busy week in my life. sorry for the lack of posts. i know everyone was just dying slowly inside from a lack of nourishment that can only be provided by punches and kicks. i am getting set to wrap up this semester of school. summer will soon begin and before it ends i will wed. my ideal wedding would have little people playing flutes, dressed as midevil jesters. they would dance around and play and sing. they would bow every time a guest passed and call them sir and madame. i would want to wear a kilt and a breastplate with my family crest on the front and a lion on the back. i would also carry a sword. at the reception i would drink mead and eat with my hands. there would be braisen lamb shank and slow roasted boar with a fruit chutney. fresh plums and wild berries in wooden bowls at every table. the air would be alight with the fragrance of primrose. you would hear laughter as all the guests danced and sang of the yesteryears. my bride and i would ride off on our faithful steeds. to alight for the first night on a bed of flowers and soft mosses. it would be most glorious. until later my brothers and sisters in arms

Ezekiel 16:6

"When I passed by you and saw you squirming in your own blood, I said to you while you were in your blood, 'Live!" Yes, I said to you while you were in your own blood, 'Live!'
The Lord has been telling me this over the last week. I find that it is very easy to live an apethetic life where the Lord has me right now. God has blessed me continually over the last years, to the point that from an outward perspective there really arent that many needs in my life that arent met. I have a comfortable living situation, I drive a car that runs, I have a fiance that loves me and that I will marry in August (God Willing), there is always food on the table, I am finishing up my college studies, I have job oppurtunities, etc. I am a happy person, I am healthy, I dont have any major family or relational problems with friends. Inspite of all of that I have led a somewhat empty life for the last 4 months. I have been realizing how empty I can be when I try to fill my days with perishable occurances. I need Jesus in my life as a place of refuge from the world and a place to replenish my love for Him. He is the only place of life. What I have woken up to each day has been existence. There was no substance, no texture, no taste. I am praying and asking the Lord to each day wake me and as I lay there in my own blood and filth to look at me and call me to LIVE!

I love the Lee's

I just ran across of this picture of my old neighbor Steve Lee. It made me remember all of the good times we had growing up together on Liberty Bell. We would spend every day play karate fighting, peeing over the fence and seeing who could pee the highest, numchuck fighting, playing atari, eating ramen and seaweed and rice, walking in the woods throwing rocks and building forts, or just running around harrasing each other. I cant leave out Mark. Mark was there in it all as well as Nate. But alas, we are all now grown and dont have as much time to climb trees. We have jobs, well Nate does, and I kinda do. I build houses but am in between projects. Mark is chillin the most being a brother in fayetteville, and Steve is making the children smile, the dolphins splash and the dominos tumble over in intricate designs while slowly rocking the babies to sleep as he climbs ladders into clouds, and tells them jokes so funny and tickling them until they laugh so hard that they cry. the tears fall to earth quenching its thirst and giving the birds a drink so that they can carry on flying and singing sweetly of his songs which can be found by clicking on the words. I PROMISE TO BUY YOUR CD STEPHEN SCOTT LEE.

Hallelujah its Raining Men!

MAZEL MAZEL GOOD THINGS!!!!! well i have had a full day. the above pic is right before skelly (the guy on the left) myself, and noons ( the guy on the right) went for a float down the neighborhood creek. it has been raining hard all day today and the creek that is normally about 6-12 inches deep was up past my belly. it was running hard, even had rapids at certain parts. we had an amazing time floating. we found an alligator snapping turtle and a baby armadillo. the baby was so cute, i didnt want to kick it which is a first for me and armadillos. well i just finished watching sigur ros streamed live from coachella. it was fab. they rock so hard that it makes me want to sleep. i cant handle it... to much power. well i dont know what else to say but Shalom.

mtunes new music thursday

i just heard a new band that i really enjoy. the bands name is john van deusen and the lonely forest. you can check them out by clicking the word GNARDLY.
john is 18 years old and is talented. if we lived in bible times and i gave you money then you would have been talented also. you work for the bank, the bank works for me, ipso facto im your boss. gravity is an amazing thing to think about. its just an unseen force that is always being applied on us. i cant believe how people can believe in big bang and evolution and all that crap when there are things like gravity. i guess they just think that somehow our planet developed an atmosphere that is perfect for sustaining life and that it magicaly decided to have an invisable force that would hold everything perfectly in place and maybe while the spontaneous combustions were happening oxygen would develop and be the perfect mixture to allow the amoebamen that were slowly developing to sustain life from. what a bunch of doo doo brains if you ask me. pa alumni soccer game thursday may 11. be there or be absent from there. grimace was my favirote mcdonalds commercial character.

interior angles

well i am roasted right now. not drunk. just braindead. i spent way to much time in the books today and even took a final tonight. the picture above is of my roommates dog franklin. franklin got bit by a brown recluse. not all brown recluses are poisonious. i know a black guy named akmed who is totally a hermit. he bite me once and i had no weird side effects. i wonder what life would be like if there wasnt school. i mean would my last name be my job. i guess mine wouldnt since there isnt a job called perry. unless a perry is a pear picker or something. but what if my name was matt construction. essentially that is what names were back in the day right. smith was a blacksmith, baker was a baker, and leroy penister was a bad man! exclamation points are overused. if all of the punctuation marks were in a burning building and i could save just one i would save the tilday. it is a good mexican accent mark that looks like this:

~

i cant look at tildays without thinking of tacos. one of my biggest weaknesses is the spontaneous purchase. i have to stop it or it will be the end of me. if you ever see me buying something ridicoulous like a frog gig, stop me. i bought a frog gig about a month ago. i am looking forward to using it when it comes time but i really have no need for it right now. i know what you are thinking and yes i do know what the fastest animal on land is. good thing i am not being chased since i am overweight. tell me a story or a joke. if i like it i will be happy and smile, if i dont i will never mention to you that i didnt like it. that way you wont know the difference and you can remain ignorant to my feelings. i think that if God was here right now in a tangible flesh form he would slap me a high five and tell me that he digs me. i dig Him too

morning calls me

what do you get when you mix:

• 1 part jose gonzalez
• 1 part red wine
• 1 part me

you get an ultimate chill session complete with purple teeth. i am sitting here wondering what it would be like if i was a transformer. i think it would be pretty sweet. i am trying to think what i would choose if i could have one part of my body transform. its a toss up between my lungs turning to gills, my arms turning to wings, or my fingers turning into mini bazookas. all 3 are sweet. i guess i will never know what the best is but would love to hear what yall would transform. when the morning calls i will rise for yet another day in my united states of whatever. if i got as mad at the morning as i do my friends for waking me up i would have some serious hate problems in my life.

to know me is to love me

El primero BLOG

OH BLOG how i love you. you sound like throwup. i bet you would be tasty served on a warm rectangle smothered in apple compote. a haiku:

i do wonder if
don quioxte ever tried
apple compote.

i named this blog punches and kicks because i like both of those foresaid items, both served and received. mainly served. i bet there is life out there in another galaxy. i wonder if we will get to be angels on the next go around if there is one. i have been taking pictures on the manuel setting of my camera lately. last night i couldnt sleep so i went outside and took a couple shots. here are two expressly for you. dont share them with your friends. pork chop sandwiches over and out.